Far Away

Nickelback's Far Away - best antidote to further miss someone!

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go

Missing the best friend :(

Back, at last

The toughness and heartlessness of the human heart can take one by surprise. Even when pain and abject poverty stands in front of us we can still push it to oblivion. Is one capable of selfless caring for the other person or does it stem as long as it is for the self?

I was on my way back home from work the other day and a handicapped person came to beg for some alms and all I did was shut my eyes and go back to sleep. Why did I do that? I thought I did it coz I didn't want to encourage beggary or was it because I didn't get affected by the wretchedness of that beggar. Have I become that hard hearted? I don't know.

On the brighter side, i'm back online and back to blogging. The past two months have been filled with too many things to do - exams, joining back work, missing the best friend, making my place a more livable place, calling TATA Broadband customer service for my net services (!) and watching movies. What have you guys been upto? Hoping alls been well.

Catch ya soon

:-)

Bloggie, here I am.

Hey Bloggie, I'm back. I have neglected you for long, haven't I? Oh well, you'd beta get used to it. I'm so uninspired.

Anyway, what have I been busy with lately? Honestly? Nothing, except for spending a lot of time with friends, attending a wedding and going for a trip from work. (That reminds me I must Blog abt the trip some time soon.)

Talking about this wedding I attended - it was like a blast from the past. It was a family friend cum ex teacher's daughter's wedding. I met so many teachers after more than 8 years. A long time indeed. Time takes it toll on everyone. I thought many had aged and some teachers told me I had put on weight (**I have to loose some weight**). It was nice to meet these teachers and have them speak to you like an adult. There was no more that teacher-student equation or awkwardness. I was dressed in my traditional attire, which is the Mekhela Sador and I thought I looked gorgeous. But guess what the Best Friend had to say? You'll never guess :-/ He said I looked Goddess Saraswati. What?!! That was my reaction as well with jaws dropped ofcourse. I am supposed to take it as a compliment. I didn't know whether to complain or shake my head in dispair. Anyway most of you will see some of these pics in my Facebook account and you can decide for yourselves if I indeed looked like the said Goddess.

Here's some more weird idiosyncrasies of the Best Friend because of whom life seems to be a happier place- I was showing him my latest purchases from a shopping trip and this is what he had to say abt one of them. "This is a very long skirt." I had to explain that it wasn't a long skirt but an off shoulder dress. LOL! Sounds cute, doesn't he? He is :-D

Weekend bum is me

Ironical. Here's what my Orkut profile says for today's fortune - Our first and last love is...self-love.
True but when does the mind realise that?!

The weekend's here and I'm totally exhausted with work n college. Guess what I've got hold of to de-stress? Nah, not a hot bod guy ;-) (I could crave for that though). I picked up 2 MB's (Mills n Boons) from a friend. Have never read them (I did read Barbara Catland though. Oh well.) and today I'm in this mood to read through some trashy romance tomes and tell myself how silly can people as well as love be. Argh. Will Blog about how I feel after reading them! :-)

The parents were in town last week and I ofcourse had to make the most of this oppourtunity! I went shopping. Lol. I picked up loads of summer wear. Going to work in different and new attire everyday is sure fun. I can't wait to go drinking in my new sexy top as well! (I could sing, "Where's the next whiskey bar?" right now :-)

There will be an offsite from work to the hills soon but I'm still not decided about going. Couple of my friends aren't going and a couple more are. I have the impending exams as well. Hmmmm...I'm so not decided. As in, I know I shouldn't be going what with the exams but **sheepish smile** I want to have some fun!!!

By the way, my summer plans of drinking and having fun before hitting the books fulltime have been squashed. The Best Friend won't be around here. He'll be busy interning back home! :'( There goes my beer-drinking-sessions-in-the-afternoon dreams! Sob. Any suggestions of how to manage minus the Best Friend?

I'm off to read my "books".

Unbelievable...

It's unbelievable as well as scarey - the heights of moronic and psychotic behaviour I could push myself to do just so to piss someone off.
Where's the shrink?

Change

When things change for the better one wonders how one managed without them in the first place.
One could only be thankful for them now :-)

PS - I hate change of any form. This is a positive sign.

Feeling good with flowers

Up close and personal! (Have a closer look and check out the bees). As morbid as it is but I wonder whose dead body would this wreath shroud over. Brrr.

My Valentine flowers which I got a week later. The wait was worth it :-D

Mood swings and me...

It's funny how some things affect us in more ways than we'd ever admit to even ourselves. And realising that admittance is not necessarily defeat. (As if we didn't know this since eons?)

:-/

Urges

Why do I feel the urge to Blog about my irritations, anger and frustrations?

Moody me

Quarrels.
Anger.
Making Up.
Bitterness.
Anger.
Frustration.
Anger.
Disillusions.
Anger.

Whats the point? Give it up. Move on.

Commemorating Lizzie

Death doesn't seem to have taken away the fresh memories of Lizzie. It's been a year today since she's no more but I feel she is alive and gone for a while. This what I'd written about her a year ago here and here.

Surprising that somethng as grand as death can't take away what we as humans can hold on to, memories.

Irony...

...is getting approval from everybody else but from the one whose you've been waiting for all your life.

And the wait continues.

Thoughts

It's just so hard
to realise that
what you might want
so much may not
be right for you.
No matter how bad
you want it,
Never mind that
you tired.
It's inevitable,
hitting rock bottom
which plunges you
back to another abyss.
Sometimes just love
isn't enough.

Fluidity

Fluidity of thought
Over time
Things seen and done
People cherished and forgotten
Not forgiven
Forgiveness and healing
Redemption and peace
More fluidity of thought?

Warmth

Warmth of a winter sun on my bare skin.
Warmth of a voice over the phone.
Warmth of a hug by a loved one.
Warmth of a smile when I feel so alone in the middle of a crowd.
Warmth of a just snuggled blanket.
Warmth of a hot chocolate milk mug against my numb fingers.
So comforting,
Heart warming, always.

Its silly really, for feeling so sentimental. Almost foolish coz I'm missing your presence even though we were together less than 24 hrs ago. Its not like we meet everyday but I'm feeling so insecure coz it seems like my saftey point is gone. Though, your just a phone call away. So very silly but I'm still smiling and feeling lonely without you.

Christmas is here

Yes people, CHRISTMAS is here!!! Lemme hear the YAY loud and clear! YAY!!! The time of year filled with just singing carols, eating and merry making is here. Who would ever complain? (Apart from Mr. Scrooge?) I saw my first Christmas Tree for the season at my cousin's place. Check it out. Its been done up so well by the two kids and some supervision by my Aunt:That's the Older Coz, acting very very retarded!

The Younger Coz who went totally hysterical taking these funny pics:

The Babies normally:

It could only be these two and their weird histrionics that makes any dull day brighter! Another thing, seeing these two bugs I have vowed not to have kids for a long, long time :-)

Chances are...

One song that gives me some goosebumps every time I listen to it...makes me think of...someone...who I'm not even sure feels like the way I do...someone who'd probably get a heart attack if he got to know how I felt for him...LOL! More about that later...listen to the song and tell me how you guys find it.

Chances are you'll find me
Somewhere on your road tonight
Seems I always end up driving by
Ever since I've known you
It just seems you're on my way
All the rules of logic don't apply

I long to see you in the night
Be with you 'til morning light

I remember clearly how you looked
The night we met
I recall your laughter and your smile
I remember how you made me
Feel so at ease
I remember all your grace, your style

And now you're all I long to see
You've come to mean so much to me

Chances are I'll see you
Somewhere in my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer
All I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best, I've ever met

And I'll be dreaming of the future
And hoping you'll be by my side
And in the morning I'll be longing
For the night, for the night

Chances are I'll see you
Somewhere in my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer
All I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best I've ever met

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A recent conversation

Has this happened with you where you could never predict something like that to come up in a conversation? Like some stuff which probably is spoken only between very close friends and next thing you know, someone you hardly know asks you the same without even batting an eyelid? Yes, thats exactly what happened to me the other day. And to top it all, that person was one of my best friend's niece which technically makes me her Aunt as well though she is a IIIrd year College kid!!!

Anyway here is a snippet of the conversation:
Niece: The last time I met you with my Aunt you guys were talking about some weird boy friend of yours. (Note: This meeting was like 2 yrs ago)
Me (Smiling) : Yup, the weird one is history now.
Niece: So did you date anyone after that?
Me: Yup, someone who eventually broke my heart and I have been happily single for more than a year. (With a satisfied smile)
Niece (With a look of awe): Wow. And sex?!
Me (With jaws dropped): What about sex?
Niece: So how do you manage without it?
Me (I was about to pass out with the shock): It has never been an option!
Looking back I can only have a good laugh now.

Oh well, life doesn't seem to stop with her surprises!

Winters arrived

Winters are here...the cold is here and I'm so not happy. If there is one season I dislike, it has to be the Winters! Delhi winters even more. The constant cold numbing my fingers, ears and nose for two months, argh! I can't for the love of god imagine how do people manage living in places with snow for most of the year?! (Like Ricky!!!)
Anyhow, the Blowers been brought down and so have the Winter clothes including mufflers, gloves and caps. I have started wearing socks all day long and I can't even manage sleeping at night without my gloves on. For all this inconvenience I had to go shopping (Ofcourse) :-D Anyway picked up a pair of cool pair of Converse for everyday wear. As you can see below, I'm posing with them!My Dad refused to blow up $150 for a pair of Boots from abroad so I had to make do (not that I had any other choice) with one purchased from South Ext. I loooove them.

How are you guys preparing for the Winters? (I know Ricky's busy Winter shopping as well)

Thats all for now, have to get back to the books and the warm Blanket. Take care people.

Retrospection

After all the frenzy over Prison Break I & II and the "delectable" Michael Scoffield, I've realised
had it not been for his glamourised role he'd have been just another normal (not drool worthy) looking person. There goes one of my crushes.

One year of Blogging

The Blog's first birthday came and went by without any event. I guess I didn't write about it only because I was too busy with work and College. Oh well, Belated Happy 1st Birtjday to my Blog! :-D
It's been one eventful year in the Blog apart from some dormant phases. This is where I have given vent about almost everything that gets my goat. From an unpleasant breakup to my cooking experiments to travelling and photographs, this is where it's recorded. I thought I was addicted to Blogging but with the present scenario of no time at all, I'd like to think I'm addicted to Blogging! The best part about Blogging is how I am to have made some very good Blog pals - Mehak , Ricky and Lalit.
These guys aren't only my Blog pals but Orkut, Facebook as well as phone pals! They have been there just a phone call away - even to answer if earthworms had 13 or 15 hearts(LOL). This is probably the rare occasion I might admit but I love the fact I'm friends with you guys! :-)
Here's to more Blogging and eventful friendships!

:-)

Guys, how does one add a hyper link? I tried but it doesn't show! Help!

No more birthday blues!

Oh well, so much for making another birthday such a big deal. I'm alright now. Ok with the fact that I'm 24! I didn't quite plan out anything for the "day". The best friend and some of my neighbours were there to celebrate by cutting a cake and some food. Nice and simple. I also got gifts from the most unexpected places which was kinda sweet! :) Have uploaded some pics of the birthday.
Flowers from Pete:

Flowers from Bachchu and Ronmi:

The YUM bday cake from Bachchu and Ronmi:

All in all, a good birthday and a new year with some fun stuff in store!

Withdrawal Symptoms

I was just thinking what I missed the most from my last relationship and oddly, I missed the comfortable silences. The silence which I thought spoke volumes. I miss the moment when I could just snuggle and feel safe and warm. I haven't felt that in months. But why am I feeling like this now? Why am I letting myself think of the past which is so obviously irrevocable?

For the past one week I have been dreading the coming days. I have a good reason, I'm going to become older by another year. Not something pleasant to look forward to. Until I was 21 I loved all my birthdays, particularly the gifts and party with friends. But now its like a date which only makes me older and none the more wiser. Its like now I'm racing with time to make something out of life. For the past 2 years its been the same; I sulk and shy away from my close friends and company. Last year one of my closest friends had to force herself to my place and wish me. This year too I'd love to run away to be with myself but I have College to attend. Thankfully I have taken leave from work for that day. I think the Best Friend wants to do something for my birthday but I have forewarned him of my plans. Lets see what happens this time around :-|

As frustrating as it is to my friends and me I still want to be alone this time too.

Sigh...

Listening to James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" and hating him for bringing a rush of bittersweet memories :'(

Musical Nostalgia

I have always associated music with memories. There are some songs that I love listening to and would love to listen to all the time so that I remember the good times I had with my friends but I usually don't. I know, totally contradictory. Listening to them only makes me sad and depressed! I particularly don't listen to music that reminds me of my last days in Army School. It makes me miss my school, friends, care-free days, parents and Guwahati. Its very irritating when I get to listen to old songs when I'm out because I consciously try to stay away from them. Songs like Salaam Namaste's "My dil goes Hmmmm" reminds me of Pete and funny times with him or Westlife's "Coast to Coast" and my first boyfriend and our first date! :-D I was "busy" cleaning my Music folder this weekend and came across some songs I listened to more than 2 years ago. I generally stop myself from listening to these because more often than not, I end up shedding some tears and sighing alone. Not a good experience :( Anyway, I listened to some of those songs today and so many memories and emotions came at the same time - a smile, a lump of emotion in my throat and a tear as well.

I wish some things, people and time didn't become memories. Even as everyday becomes tomorrow's memories I still dispair and wish time could be frozen and relived again and again. Wishful thinking at its height...

I wonder where the people filling up my memories are now? If they're as happy as they seemed years ago? Wonder if they ever think back of those times and if its with a smile and a longing?

Brighter, Bolder, Bettyer!

Ugly Betty: Season II starts September, 27th.

The Cyber Thief in me can't wait!

;)

A look alike? Freaky!

I have something so freaky to write about today...Ok, on second thoughts, its not so freaky...but...anyway here it is...College is fun...attending classes, hanging around etc. But I haven't actually gone out of my way to make new friends in my Class. Thats the way I am...I hate making an effort for anything. The friends I made in the first few days are the ones I'm comfortable with. But then today everyone from Class were together and I suddenly saw this chap frm Class in a new light/angle(!) He resembles my ex 8-O Even his expressions and the way he walks (in a nonchalant way). No, it isn't my imagination. Its just weird. I'm wondering what I'd do to the look alike if I walked into class tipsy...What do you guys think? ;) I was thinking more in the lines of a kick or a punch! :-P

How's the week coming along people? Just 2 more days and the weekend's here. Payday? 11 more days. I can count the days in my fingers now! Yay! Yes, I live for Paydays! :-D

Take care people!

Connected once again!

Much to my chagrin my net connection was down for the past 6 days. Had to check my mails either at work or the net cafes. I hated using both. My vivid imagination would make me wonder if the last person who used the comp had clean hands or not or wonder what kinda weird stuff had he touched! :-/

Celebrated my dearest friend's birthday yesterday even though we didn't plan to celebrate it together on the same day. But luckily I got off work early and we made it on time to give the last order at this late night restaurant. We made do with a dark chocolate with orange desert as the cake and a drink hot chocolate. Made a rucous singing him the Happy Birthday song. Fun :-)

Flirting or attempts made by men to flirt with me makes me smile and shake my head and think that all men are so similar. Its the same routine work - smile, look at the other person surreptiously, make a sarcastic comment and try to sound intelligent...Sigh...Yawn...But its time I moved on and now I'm game ;-)Take care people!

Birthday Wishes...

Nupur,
You and Me
Cheese and Chalk
Bhija Mekuri and Bengi
Laughter and Tears
Best friend and Worst critique.

Happy Birthday to one of the bestest things that could happen to me!

Lotsa love n hugs,
Me

Unusal Visitor...

Found this Lizard across my bathroom window some days ago. Talk about being a smart snooper. I never thought I was scared of them until I saw this one. Now I am. You cant blame me for that. (I just noticed the window looks really dirty. Let me reassure you, its dirty from the other side and not my side!)

Have had another very irritating visitor, pigeons. They continuously build their nest in the ventilator in the bathroom. Despite keeping the ventilator covered from my side I still get bits of their nest most mornings.

Start of another week of Work & College...Argh...At the start of every week I keep comforting myself with the weekend and when the weekend eventually comes, it just zips by before I can spell WEEKEND! :'( Last weekend I was nursing my hangover :-/ not a good experience. I also dropped my phone into a bucket of water! 8-O I can't even think of telling the parents. Dad could/would kill me. The phone by the way, went dead but thankfully the Best Friend could revive it back with some brains and an effective hair dryer the next day. Thank God for the Best Friend and the Hair Dryer.

How'd your weekend go people? Have a good week!

:-)

Oops...

Oops I did it again! :-/

Have you woken up the next morning regretting having done the dumbest things the other night?

Yeah, thats how dumb I feel now!

Argh.