Bloggie, here I am.

Hey Bloggie, I'm back. I have neglected you for long, haven't I? Oh well, you'd beta get used to it. I'm so uninspired.

Anyway, what have I been busy with lately? Honestly? Nothing, except for spending a lot of time with friends, attending a wedding and going for a trip from work. (That reminds me I must Blog abt the trip some time soon.)

Talking about this wedding I attended - it was like a blast from the past. It was a family friend cum ex teacher's daughter's wedding. I met so many teachers after more than 8 years. A long time indeed. Time takes it toll on everyone. I thought many had aged and some teachers told me I had put on weight (**I have to loose some weight**). It was nice to meet these teachers and have them speak to you like an adult. There was no more that teacher-student equation or awkwardness. I was dressed in my traditional attire, which is the Mekhela Sador and I thought I looked gorgeous. But guess what the Best Friend had to say? You'll never guess :-/ He said I looked Goddess Saraswati. What?!! That was my reaction as well with jaws dropped ofcourse. I am supposed to take it as a compliment. I didn't know whether to complain or shake my head in dispair. Anyway most of you will see some of these pics in my Facebook account and you can decide for yourselves if I indeed looked like the said Goddess.

Here's some more weird idiosyncrasies of the Best Friend because of whom life seems to be a happier place- I was showing him my latest purchases from a shopping trip and this is what he had to say abt one of them. "This is a very long skirt." I had to explain that it wasn't a long skirt but an off shoulder dress. LOL! Sounds cute, doesn't he? He is :-D

Feeling good with flowers

Up close and personal! (Have a closer look and check out the bees). As morbid as it is but I wonder whose dead body would this wreath shroud over. Brrr.

My Valentine flowers which I got a week later. The wait was worth it :-D

Commemorating Lizzie

Death doesn't seem to have taken away the fresh memories of Lizzie. It's been a year today since she's no more but I feel she is alive and gone for a while. This what I'd written about her a year ago here and here.

Surprising that somethng as grand as death can't take away what we as humans can hold on to, memories.

Irony...

...is getting approval from everybody else but from the one whose you've been waiting for all your life.

And the wait continues.

Thoughts

It's just so hard
to realise that
what you might want
so much may not
be right for you.
No matter how bad
you want it,
Never mind that
you tired.
It's inevitable,
hitting rock bottom
which plunges you
back to another abyss.
Sometimes just love
isn't enough.

Warmth

Warmth of a winter sun on my bare skin.
Warmth of a voice over the phone.
Warmth of a hug by a loved one.
Warmth of a smile when I feel so alone in the middle of a crowd.
Warmth of a just snuggled blanket.
Warmth of a hot chocolate milk mug against my numb fingers.
So comforting,
Heart warming, always.

Its silly really, for feeling so sentimental. Almost foolish coz I'm missing your presence even though we were together less than 24 hrs ago. Its not like we meet everyday but I'm feeling so insecure coz it seems like my saftey point is gone. Though, your just a phone call away. So very silly but I'm still smiling and feeling lonely without you.

Christmas is here

Yes people, CHRISTMAS is here!!! Lemme hear the YAY loud and clear! YAY!!! The time of year filled with just singing carols, eating and merry making is here. Who would ever complain? (Apart from Mr. Scrooge?) I saw my first Christmas Tree for the season at my cousin's place. Check it out. Its been done up so well by the two kids and some supervision by my Aunt:That's the Older Coz, acting very very retarded!

The Younger Coz who went totally hysterical taking these funny pics:

The Babies normally:

It could only be these two and their weird histrionics that makes any dull day brighter! Another thing, seeing these two bugs I have vowed not to have kids for a long, long time :-)

Chances are...

One song that gives me some goosebumps every time I listen to it...makes me think of...someone...who I'm not even sure feels like the way I do...someone who'd probably get a heart attack if he got to know how I felt for him...LOL! More about that later...listen to the song and tell me how you guys find it.

Chances are you'll find me
Somewhere on your road tonight
Seems I always end up driving by
Ever since I've known you
It just seems you're on my way
All the rules of logic don't apply

I long to see you in the night
Be with you 'til morning light

I remember clearly how you looked
The night we met
I recall your laughter and your smile
I remember how you made me
Feel so at ease
I remember all your grace, your style

And now you're all I long to see
You've come to mean so much to me

Chances are I'll see you
Somewhere in my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer
All I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best, I've ever met

And I'll be dreaming of the future
And hoping you'll be by my side
And in the morning I'll be longing
For the night, for the night

Chances are I'll see you
Somewhere in my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer
All I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best I've ever met

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One year of Blogging

The Blog's first birthday came and went by without any event. I guess I didn't write about it only because I was too busy with work and College. Oh well, Belated Happy 1st Birtjday to my Blog! :-D
It's been one eventful year in the Blog apart from some dormant phases. This is where I have given vent about almost everything that gets my goat. From an unpleasant breakup to my cooking experiments to travelling and photographs, this is where it's recorded. I thought I was addicted to Blogging but with the present scenario of no time at all, I'd like to think I'm addicted to Blogging! The best part about Blogging is how I am to have made some very good Blog pals - Mehak , Ricky and Lalit.
These guys aren't only my Blog pals but Orkut, Facebook as well as phone pals! They have been there just a phone call away - even to answer if earthworms had 13 or 15 hearts(LOL). This is probably the rare occasion I might admit but I love the fact I'm friends with you guys! :-)
Here's to more Blogging and eventful friendships!

:-)

Guys, how does one add a hyper link? I tried but it doesn't show! Help!

Withdrawal Symptoms

I was just thinking what I missed the most from my last relationship and oddly, I missed the comfortable silences. The silence which I thought spoke volumes. I miss the moment when I could just snuggle and feel safe and warm. I haven't felt that in months. But why am I feeling like this now? Why am I letting myself think of the past which is so obviously irrevocable?

For the past one week I have been dreading the coming days. I have a good reason, I'm going to become older by another year. Not something pleasant to look forward to. Until I was 21 I loved all my birthdays, particularly the gifts and party with friends. But now its like a date which only makes me older and none the more wiser. Its like now I'm racing with time to make something out of life. For the past 2 years its been the same; I sulk and shy away from my close friends and company. Last year one of my closest friends had to force herself to my place and wish me. This year too I'd love to run away to be with myself but I have College to attend. Thankfully I have taken leave from work for that day. I think the Best Friend wants to do something for my birthday but I have forewarned him of my plans. Lets see what happens this time around :-|

As frustrating as it is to my friends and me I still want to be alone this time too.

Sigh...

Listening to James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" and hating him for bringing a rush of bittersweet memories :'(

Musical Nostalgia

I have always associated music with memories. There are some songs that I love listening to and would love to listen to all the time so that I remember the good times I had with my friends but I usually don't. I know, totally contradictory. Listening to them only makes me sad and depressed! I particularly don't listen to music that reminds me of my last days in Army School. It makes me miss my school, friends, care-free days, parents and Guwahati. Its very irritating when I get to listen to old songs when I'm out because I consciously try to stay away from them. Songs like Salaam Namaste's "My dil goes Hmmmm" reminds me of Pete and funny times with him or Westlife's "Coast to Coast" and my first boyfriend and our first date! :-D I was "busy" cleaning my Music folder this weekend and came across some songs I listened to more than 2 years ago. I generally stop myself from listening to these because more often than not, I end up shedding some tears and sighing alone. Not a good experience :( Anyway, I listened to some of those songs today and so many memories and emotions came at the same time - a smile, a lump of emotion in my throat and a tear as well.

I wish some things, people and time didn't become memories. Even as everyday becomes tomorrow's memories I still dispair and wish time could be frozen and relived again and again. Wishful thinking at its height...

I wonder where the people filling up my memories are now? If they're as happy as they seemed years ago? Wonder if they ever think back of those times and if its with a smile and a longing?

A look alike? Freaky!

I have something so freaky to write about today...Ok, on second thoughts, its not so freaky...but...anyway here it is...College is fun...attending classes, hanging around etc. But I haven't actually gone out of my way to make new friends in my Class. Thats the way I am...I hate making an effort for anything. The friends I made in the first few days are the ones I'm comfortable with. But then today everyone from Class were together and I suddenly saw this chap frm Class in a new light/angle(!) He resembles my ex 8-O Even his expressions and the way he walks (in a nonchalant way). No, it isn't my imagination. Its just weird. I'm wondering what I'd do to the look alike if I walked into class tipsy...What do you guys think? ;) I was thinking more in the lines of a kick or a punch! :-P

How's the week coming along people? Just 2 more days and the weekend's here. Payday? 11 more days. I can count the days in my fingers now! Yay! Yes, I live for Paydays! :-D

Take care people!

Another to the collection

The other day I was out looking for new pair of Kohlapuris when I tried these on. They didn't look too bad and I wonder why I was never taken into them when they first hit the market some 3 yrs ago? Maybe coz every body seemed to be in one! Anyway, I'm very happy with my purchase...Hang on, theres better to come...it cost me only Rs 110...now that, my dear friends, is a Steal! :-D And the ghoongroo makes me feel so pseudo feminine (in the nice way.) Anyway, heres to a start of another hectic week where I hardly get to sleep, all thanks to me talking some really "wise" decisions. But I guess I'd have to stick to them for sometime. Adding on to my sleepless problem is one of my very good friend, whom I consider my "buddy buddy" friend who decides to talk abt the "relationship" we are having and abt him and me and where the relationship is going. Thankfully a phone call from the Best Friend saved the embarrassing moment! Its so discomforting now...where we would only msg for work or dumb forwards, he msgs me, asking me how my day is going all the time and so many other weird stuff that "buddy buddy" friends never do. Argh...its so weird and irritating. Simply coz I don't want to spoil what we have and I am so not ready for a relationship...Yeah, yeah, I'm the quintessential anti man! :-I Lets see what happens next. Keep me in your prayers people!

Off to sleep and then classes...take care and have a good week! Oh, and its a holiday on Wednesday...Yippieeee! What plans? No prizes for guessing what I'd be doing - I'll be sleeping.

Ciao.

Enough!

Does he love me?
Maybe he does. Maybe he doesn't anymore.
Does he care? Maybe not. Maybe never.
But he said he did n he will,
Rem the day I was leaninging in your arms?
Will he come around? He might, but I don't think so.
But why not? He should. Shouldn't he?

Why doesnt she take my call? Or reply to my msgs?
Doesn't she see that I need her?
Just to unburden myself n talk abt the day.
You said you'd call but you didn't.
Can I call you now?

Do I look alright? Am I getting too fat?
Is my arse sticking out or is it my paunch?
Should I straighten my hair?
But why is she giving me that look?!
Am I looking weird? Or am I intimidating her?
Maybe Im beta, in the way I dress, walk, talk n laugh!
Maybe its the attention I get!

But why aren't you talking to me?
Was it me? Did I do something wrong?
But maybe its just you and not me.
Whatever it is, guess what? I don't give a fuck.
I'm going to be me.
You either take it or leave it.
I dont care.

Okies...Here's the latest abt me (Sandy, Mehak n Ricky already know abt it), I had a "stupid" accident on Sunday night and hurt my left knee and left elbow but im getting better. Tried relaxing on Monday but the thought of huge deductions on my salary n of my impending leaves, I went to work today. Was alright for most of the day except when I bumped my other feet on the wounded knee! It hurt so bad that I started crying...I know, I know Im a cry baby. With the wounds I cant wear anything else but loose clothings so I am sticking to wearing Salwar Kurtas. For one who doesnt look for too many plausible reasons I went ahead n bought myself some kurtas, a top n a skirt! I feel good but my knee hurts what with all the exertion! But I guess no pain, no gain. And guess what? I went to withdraw some cash and saw that I had got my arrears frm work! Shoes...here I come! :-D Anyway its late, I gotta hit the sack. Take care people.