Far Away

Nickelback's Far Away - best antidote to further miss someone!

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go

Missing the best friend :(

Unbelievable...

It's unbelievable as well as scarey - the heights of moronic and psychotic behaviour I could push myself to do just so to piss someone off.
Where's the shrink?

Mood swings and me...

It's funny how some things affect us in more ways than we'd ever admit to even ourselves. And realising that admittance is not necessarily defeat. (As if we didn't know this since eons?)

:-/

Urges

Why do I feel the urge to Blog about my irritations, anger and frustrations?

Moody me

Quarrels.
Anger.
Making Up.
Bitterness.
Anger.
Frustration.
Anger.
Disillusions.
Anger.

Whats the point? Give it up. Move on.

Irony...

...is getting approval from everybody else but from the one whose you've been waiting for all your life.

And the wait continues.

Thoughts

It's just so hard
to realise that
what you might want
so much may not
be right for you.
No matter how bad
you want it,
Never mind that
you tired.
It's inevitable,
hitting rock bottom
which plunges you
back to another abyss.
Sometimes just love
isn't enough.

Fluidity

Fluidity of thought
Over time
Things seen and done
People cherished and forgotten
Not forgiven
Forgiveness and healing
Redemption and peace
More fluidity of thought?

Warmth

Warmth of a winter sun on my bare skin.
Warmth of a voice over the phone.
Warmth of a hug by a loved one.
Warmth of a smile when I feel so alone in the middle of a crowd.
Warmth of a just snuggled blanket.
Warmth of a hot chocolate milk mug against my numb fingers.
So comforting,
Heart warming, always.

Its silly really, for feeling so sentimental. Almost foolish coz I'm missing your presence even though we were together less than 24 hrs ago. Its not like we meet everyday but I'm feeling so insecure coz it seems like my saftey point is gone. Though, your just a phone call away. So very silly but I'm still smiling and feeling lonely without you.

Withdrawal Symptoms

I was just thinking what I missed the most from my last relationship and oddly, I missed the comfortable silences. The silence which I thought spoke volumes. I miss the moment when I could just snuggle and feel safe and warm. I haven't felt that in months. But why am I feeling like this now? Why am I letting myself think of the past which is so obviously irrevocable?

For the past one week I have been dreading the coming days. I have a good reason, I'm going to become older by another year. Not something pleasant to look forward to. Until I was 21 I loved all my birthdays, particularly the gifts and party with friends. But now its like a date which only makes me older and none the more wiser. Its like now I'm racing with time to make something out of life. For the past 2 years its been the same; I sulk and shy away from my close friends and company. Last year one of my closest friends had to force herself to my place and wish me. This year too I'd love to run away to be with myself but I have College to attend. Thankfully I have taken leave from work for that day. I think the Best Friend wants to do something for my birthday but I have forewarned him of my plans. Lets see what happens this time around :-|

As frustrating as it is to my friends and me I still want to be alone this time too.

Sigh...

Listening to James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" and hating him for bringing a rush of bittersweet memories :'(

Musical Nostalgia

I have always associated music with memories. There are some songs that I love listening to and would love to listen to all the time so that I remember the good times I had with my friends but I usually don't. I know, totally contradictory. Listening to them only makes me sad and depressed! I particularly don't listen to music that reminds me of my last days in Army School. It makes me miss my school, friends, care-free days, parents and Guwahati. Its very irritating when I get to listen to old songs when I'm out because I consciously try to stay away from them. Songs like Salaam Namaste's "My dil goes Hmmmm" reminds me of Pete and funny times with him or Westlife's "Coast to Coast" and my first boyfriend and our first date! :-D I was "busy" cleaning my Music folder this weekend and came across some songs I listened to more than 2 years ago. I generally stop myself from listening to these because more often than not, I end up shedding some tears and sighing alone. Not a good experience :( Anyway, I listened to some of those songs today and so many memories and emotions came at the same time - a smile, a lump of emotion in my throat and a tear as well.

I wish some things, people and time didn't become memories. Even as everyday becomes tomorrow's memories I still dispair and wish time could be frozen and relived again and again. Wishful thinking at its height...

I wonder where the people filling up my memories are now? If they're as happy as they seemed years ago? Wonder if they ever think back of those times and if its with a smile and a longing?

Brighter, Bolder, Bettyer!

Ugly Betty: Season II starts September, 27th.

The Cyber Thief in me can't wait!

;)

Connected once again!

Much to my chagrin my net connection was down for the past 6 days. Had to check my mails either at work or the net cafes. I hated using both. My vivid imagination would make me wonder if the last person who used the comp had clean hands or not or wonder what kinda weird stuff had he touched! :-/

Celebrated my dearest friend's birthday yesterday even though we didn't plan to celebrate it together on the same day. But luckily I got off work early and we made it on time to give the last order at this late night restaurant. We made do with a dark chocolate with orange desert as the cake and a drink hot chocolate. Made a rucous singing him the Happy Birthday song. Fun :-)

Flirting or attempts made by men to flirt with me makes me smile and shake my head and think that all men are so similar. Its the same routine work - smile, look at the other person surreptiously, make a sarcastic comment and try to sound intelligent...Sigh...Yawn...But its time I moved on and now I'm game ;-)Take care people!

Unusal Visitor...

Found this Lizard across my bathroom window some days ago. Talk about being a smart snooper. I never thought I was scared of them until I saw this one. Now I am. You cant blame me for that. (I just noticed the window looks really dirty. Let me reassure you, its dirty from the other side and not my side!)

Have had another very irritating visitor, pigeons. They continuously build their nest in the ventilator in the bathroom. Despite keeping the ventilator covered from my side I still get bits of their nest most mornings.

Start of another week of Work & College...Argh...At the start of every week I keep comforting myself with the weekend and when the weekend eventually comes, it just zips by before I can spell WEEKEND! :'( Last weekend I was nursing my hangover :-/ not a good experience. I also dropped my phone into a bucket of water! 8-O I can't even think of telling the parents. Dad could/would kill me. The phone by the way, went dead but thankfully the Best Friend could revive it back with some brains and an effective hair dryer the next day. Thank God for the Best Friend and the Hair Dryer.

How'd your weekend go people? Have a good week!

:-)

Sleepless

Can't sleep thanks to some very bad sleeping habits.

The Monsoons should be here tomorrow according to the Met. Dept. Lets see. Despite my love for the monsoons I still have some complaints against this weather.
For one, I perpetually have bad hair days everyday. How? My hair is forever frizzy! Getting it in place is a marathon task which is accomplished by using huge dollops of Hair Gel.
Apart from that I have been trying to finish washing all my dirty laundry which has been piling up for a very "long" time (not worth mentioning since I'd only scandalise some of you :-D) Does anyone know how to get ride of the smell that comes from the not so dried clothes?! I totally hate it but can't get ride of them in this weather. Pls do not say that I should use a clothes drier (Like Ricky!). I am the washing machine and the erratic sun the drier.
Also, I can't wear my favourite suits/churidars since the muck gets all over them!
Grumble, grumble...I'm so glad the heat is going to be history. It was absolute joy to get caught in the rain last Thursday! Not just once, but twice (I never said experience makes me wiser!)
Anyway off to try to sleep again. Good night people. Take care.